Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Your voice

Your voice is valuable.

Why do we stop ourselves before saying something that's on our mind? Do you immediately assume that someone else's voice has more value than yours? By fearing that others will shoot you down, you're giving their words more value than yours.

Allow there to be power in what you have to say, start talking.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Ash Wednesday

I grew up in the Episcopal church and was drowned in liturgy that I didn't appreciate or didn't understand. The only thing about Sundays that I remembered was: sit, stand, kneel, rinse and repeat every 3 seconds. My brother and I had to be acolytes and I remember he'd always pass out from the "exercise" of a Sunday morning.

Sam and I have been going to non-denominational churches since college. They tend to be very contemporary in worship without a lot of liturgy. We have loved the two churches we've been a part of (Vintage21 and Salem Chapel) and felt blessed by the community and heart that goes into those churches. However, Lent season was approaching this year and I realized that I needed to be reminded of what it was about. So I went to an Ash Wednesday service at my old Episcopal church. It was so beautiful. We read prayers that had been read for generations. We kneeled in reverence to God. We sang hymns that were rich with Scripture and theology. As I walked to the altar to have the ashes put on my forehead, I looked around at the congregation. There were heads bowed in solemn pleas for atonement. There were no iphones out tweeting about what the pastor was saying or about what a good song we were singing- they were experiencing it. There was no chance for the musicians to "perform" because the one organist was hidden so only his music to God would be heard. There was no apology or reluctance from the congregation to boldly walk to the altar and have ashes placed on our foreheads because there was beauty in outwardly showing our depravity.

All of that to say, apparently my heart was needing some liturgy and reverence in this Lent season. Even though as I walked to my car with an ash cross on my forehead, I wondered how many people would think I was in a death metal band and was tempted to start throshing and doing my best screamo impression... what was I saying about needing reverence?

I left the Episcopal church for a few reasons but the main one was selfish. I was so afraid of being "boring" or too "old fashioned". So for Lent, I'm going to wear pilgrim clothes, ride the Old Spice horse to work, and give up making jokes. Starting now...


Monday, February 15, 2010

So many lessons...

My cousin and I ran the Myrtle Beach Half Marathon this past Saturday! Now, I tried to pick one lesson that I learned after this weekend but I couldn't.

1. Myrtle Beach got snow... and by snow I mean a couple inches of powder that melted by noon. The race board was unanimous in still doing the race but the city of Myrtle Beach cancelled the race. The roads were COMPLETELY clear so we now affectionately call Myrtle, "Dump Water, USA". So, Friday night we could have just called it quits and gone home the next day. But, runners are resilient.... and stubborn. Everyone decided to go out and run the course anyway! There were runners everywhere. We were all cheering each other on, wearing our bibs, and even had medals given out at the finish line. Life doesn't always turn out like you plan, but my cousin, Caroline and I decided to push past the barrier and finish our goal of running the 13.1 miles.
2. Caroline is friggin fast! We both wanted to finish the race in under 2 hours. Ok, by "we" I mean Caroline because I just wanted to survive. I kept up with her to about 7.5 miles but then I had to fall back. I just found my "happy pace" but never lost sight of her. It was only because I was following my sister that I finished under 2 hours. I definitely would have stopped more often but I had my eye on Caroline in front of me. Sometimes we need to focus on the sisters that have paved the way for us to inspire us to persevere.
3. The biggest lesson I learned is that it really is all mental. At mile 9, I wanted to quit. I thought to myself, "Self, this is the dumbest thing you have ever done." My butt muscle was cramping up, I was throwing up in my mouth, I didn't have any water, and the wind was coming at me so fast and strong that I literally started running sideways. But somehow, I knew that there would be a finish line even though I believed in it as much as I believed that sugar free candy tastes the same as regular candy. Mentally, you can convince yourself to do anything you want. Test yourself.

Here is proof:




Check out a video another runner made: http://www.thesunnews.com/1224/story/1314406.html

Thursday, February 11, 2010

It felt good...

I heard an awesome song on the radio that made me want to dance like I was on the Mickey Mouse Club. So I pulled my car over and got out... and danced in the parking lot. I mean, I was doing pivots, kicks, and shook my hips like I was Beyonce. My arms were in the air, I was singing, pretty sure I even tried to do the moon walk when the song told me to "back it up".

The song ended, I got back in my car, didn't make eye contact with the people watching and drove away. It felt good.... life lived today, CHECK!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Constipation

Ok, now that I have your attention....

I have been thinking a lot about how emotionally and expressively stunted we are. How many times have you been moved by something and your heart wants to cry but that voice inside your head keeps screaming, "KEEP IT TOGETHER!" Why do we have to keep it together? Or how often have you wanted to laugh hysterically at something but you don't want to disturb the restaurant or the rest of the party? Or hug someone who is hurting? Or yell "AMEN!" during a sermon or good worship song? Or just dance in the middle of the store when you hear your favorite song? Why do we keep stopping ourselves? I love watching Extreme Home Makeover and seeing people react to their new homes. The free souls are the ones that fall to their knees, cry, snot flying out of their nose, scream, and laugh without fear of looking embarrassed or out of control. My friend once asked me what was wrong with the people on the show that didn't react with overwhelming joy. The first thing that came out of my mouth was, "They're emotionally constipated."

What is this "control" or "holding it together" getting us? Imagine what life would look like if we all lived loudly, uninhibited, and full of expression. You wouldn't live with any of the, "Oh I should have said this..." or "I wish I would have just hugged her." or "I'll just wait until I get to my car to cry so I can be alone." Instead your world will be filled with tears, loud belly laughs, embraces, passionate kisses, sacrifice... all the things life should be if it were being lived properly.


Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Born to Fight



This is sweet little Kessler, aka "Bean" as I like to call him. He is the handsome offspring of our amazing friends Blake and Ashley Hill. A few weeks ago Kessler got RSV. It scared everyone but after a few days in the hospital, that little fighter came out strong! RSV can stick around but Kessler refused to let it keep him down. Now lets be honest, this is a little boy who only knows how to poop, eat, and sleep. But, within every fiber of his being he knew he was born to fight.

We are equipped to fight because we have the ultimate Warrior on our side. Check out Exodus 15:3 for a little kick in the rear. Too often we make ourselves the victims and we forget that we were born to fight for a full life, justice, love, holiness, and peace. Now, lets go to bed tonight with the image of Kessler in full armor leading our army like Braveheart. I'm not even going to try and hold back the laughter.