Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Expectations

You want to know when the best moment of my marriage was? The richest time of friendship? It was when I released Sam and my friends from my expectations. The times when I felt most connected to my family? It was when I didn't force them into the roles that I wanted them to be in.

Expectations; we all have them. We all have this secret list of expectations for our spouse or friends or family. We trick them into a contract saying they should know what we're thinking, what we need, etc. It's not their job to fulfill these expectations or fit into our idea of who they should be... ESPECIALLY when they don't even know this contract exists! I found myself getting disappointed or angry when this contract was breached. "How dare he not know that I secretly wanted to watch a movie tonight!" or "How dare she not know I wanted to go dancing!" or "How dare she not ask how my day was!" You get the idea.

Lets give our relationships room to breath! I need to take ownership over my expectations and realize no one else should have to carry that burden.

2 comments:

  1. man! i resonate with this. i put too many on everyone, including myself!

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  2. Amen. Amen a thousand times over! Ross and I had this equation that we used a lot when we were dating >>
    Expectations - Reality = Disappointment.
    No matter what direction your expectations are (positive or negative) they tend to simply set you up for disappointment :) Thanks for sharing lady!

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